Looking For Great Divorce Support? Here Is Where To Find It!
By Duncan E. White, Owner
Inkpointe Divorce Solutions, LLC
Irmo, SC – Lost. Scared. Lonely. Shaken. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Relieved. Hopeful.
These are just some of the stops along the emotional roller coaster that is divorce. It’s not anything that anyone should have to endure alone. Now that divorce is so common, there are plenty of resources available to help you survive the process with at least some level of sanity.
First, let me tell you the one resource not to rely on – friends and family! Their advice is often misguided, uninformed, and downright damaging to your ability to think straight. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great for a shoulder to lean on. They can help keep you distracted and to remind you that you are loved, things you will need during this ride. However, do your best to get advice from objective professionals and not biased family and friends. You’ll come out of this much better for it.
The first resource that I think everyone needs during the process and for at least a little while after is:
- A Great Therapist – There is so much emotional trauma caused by divorce that you really need to talk it through with a qualified professional. A therapist will help you explore your role in the end of your marriage so you can get clear about your goals for the next phase of your life. This is the only way you can hope to form new relationships that aren’t doomed to end in the same way as your current one.
- Non-Profits – Almost every community in the country has a non-profit that offers divorce support resources. In South Carolina, we have a number of organizations that offer resources for those going through or considering a divorce. Check your local community for those in your area. A good place to start is https://www.divorcecare.org/countries/us. They have a directory of support groups by area.
- CDFA® or Financial Planner – The most common and paralyzing fear that nearly everyone feels in divorce is “Will I be ok financially?” It’s inevitable. Before you agree to any settlement, you really need a second set of eyes and some financial projections to know what you are looking at. Of course, I’m biased and would prefer that you find a CDFA® who is specifically trained in the finances of divorce but, like I said, I’m biased.
- The Internet – Divorce has become big business. New resource sites pop up every day offering a wealth of free information, downloads, blogs, referrals, directories, etc. It can be somewhat overwhelming so, just pick out what you connect with and skip the rest. Go slow. Be kind to yourself. Also, Meetup.com is a great resource for local divorce support groups. Going to a few is a good idea but don’t let yourself sink in too long. Recovery is supposed to be about getting better and I know too many people who are stuck in the grieving process and never move on. Use a support group to move through the process and then – move on.
This is going to be a challenging time in your life. Ultimately, you will be stronger, happier, and ok – as long as you choose to be. Use the resources available to you to make good decisions for yourself. Today truly is the first day of the rest of your life.
Duncan E. White is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) and has been a licensed financial advisor since 2010. He leads a Second Saturday Divorce Workshop each month for the benefit of those seeking information about the divorce process.
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Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. LPL Financial and Inkpointe Divorce Solutions do not offer tax, legal or mortgage lending services or advice.