By Duncan E. White, Owner
Inkpointe Divorce Solutions, LLC

IRMO, SC – Almost every relationship starts with that starry-eyed period of falling in love, imagining a life together with your spouse, maybe a few kids and a household pet, too. What most people do not envision, is what happens if that love, respect and admiration goes from a fairytale to a nightmare. If you find yourself here, there are some things to think about before you make the irreversible decision to divorce.

The best place to start? Probably a come-to-Jesus with the man (or woman) in the mirror. Have you done everything you can to make it last forever? Certainly, your wedding vows were not meant to be taken lightly. To avoid deep regret, make sure to do everything you know to save your marriage. Have you been brutally honest with yourself about how you feel? Have you been brutally honest with your spouse about what you are thinking and what you need? Is it really fair to expect them to know where you are? Have you insisted that you both try marriage counseling? Did you give 100 percent of yourself to the process?

If you do feel that you’ve done all that you can and the relationship is irretrievably broken, the next step is toward the future. Are you ready for a drop in your standard of living? Do you understand that the same money that supported one household will now have to support two? And that you will both have a reduced standard of living? Not only is this the point where you carefully consider your future, it’s also where you begin to decide on what you will be able to afford. It’s also a good time to consider meeting with a financial planner like me to evaluate your options and look at what potential settlements would look like.

If you are not 100% clear on your financial situation, now is the time to get prepared. Start gathering your financial documents so you can be fully informed about your household finances. If you have no idea how much money you will have, or how much it will cost you to live, it will be impossible to accurately plan for the next phase of your life. A financial planner or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) can be a very valuable resource for you at this time.

Lean on the people you trust. This is one of the most difficult decisions a person can face in life, and you can count on the process to last at least six months to a year – sometimes a lot longer! Be sure to surround yourself with people that will love and support you without being judgemental. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take a deep breath and take one step at a time.
You will get through this.