Divorcing Men Need Financial Help, Too


By Duncan E. White, Owner
Inkpointe Divorce Solutions, LLC

IRMO, SC What’s a man to do?

You may have noticed that there are multitudes of services that cater to helping women during the divorce process. Of course, this is largely because of the more-than-likely scenario that the husband has handled the finances during the marriage and the woman needs a little more hand holding. However, this is not always the case. Men can struggle to find the resources they need, as well.

Even if you handled the family finances during the entire marriage, you still need to be sure you understand the intricacies of your financial options, as well as your legal ones. In my experience working with men, there are some common mistakes to avoid that could save you a lot of money.

1. Thinking the assets are all yours because she didn’t work.
Listen, if you have been married for a while, and your wife was primarily a wife and mother during the marriage, I promise you, she worked just as hard (if not harder) than you did. What you now have together, you built as a team, and you each deserve your fair share of those assets. Even if you begged your wife to get a job for years and she refused, you still allowed the situation to continue and participated in the dance. Get over it.

2. Refusing to give up retirement assets.
I see a lot of men that are emotionally attached to pensions and retirement plans and will negotiate a settlement that lets them keep those assets. Remember, both pensions and retirement assets are taxable income when you receive them. If you are earning significantly more money than your spouse for most of your life, chances are you will always be in a higher tax bracket than her. Take advantage of this and give her the entire settlement in retirement assets adjusted for HER tax rate instead of yours. This strategy can save a significant amount in taxes, and they BOTH get to share in the benefit. Mentally tying yourself to those assets, just to pay a higher amount in taxes in the end, is just kind of shortsighted and dumb.

3. Being a bully.
Sometimes fear can show up in the negotiation process as anger and I see lots of men that make the mistake of thinking that being angry will somehow help the situation. Gentlemen, it’s just a bad, bad idea. You’re both scared. Make sure that you work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) that will incorporate future financial planning into your settlement negotiations and everyone’s fears can be addressed fairly.

4. Not Asking For Help.
The last tip I have for you is to realize that you don’t know what you don’t know. Men are often motivated by saving money and will attempt to have a do-it-yourself divorce where they draw up their own paperwork. Bad, bad, bad idea. There are so many intricacies, both financial and legal, to the divorce process that you can save a significant amount by making sure you cover all the bases.

At Inkpointe Divorce Solutions, LLC, we want to help everyone in the divorce process have a kinder, gentler, much more affordable experience. Let us help you navigate the pitfalls of your divorce.

We’re here to help!


Duncan E. White is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) and has been a licensed financial advisor since 2010. He leads a Second Saturday Divorce Workshop each month for the benefit of those seeking information about the divorce process.

For more information, click here.

Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. LPL Financial and Inkpointe Divorce Solutions do not offer tax, legal or mortgage lending services or advice.